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Real Doll doesn't look anything like this sexless sweetie. She (it?)
has a fleshy body, a fully articulated skeleton & a variety of orifices,
all of which allegedly pack better suction than yours. She looks real
enough to freak you out if you walked in on your partner having sex
with her. And she doesn't talk back. Thankfully, her price point ($4999+)
puts her out of reach of most people, so we don't have to face the reality
of how many men would actually rather have a Real Doll than you. Let's
just pretend they'd all prefer us.
More Ho in the Know:
Real Doll
Ask-a-Ho #1
Thar She Blows!
Ask-a-Ho #2
Ask-a-Ho #3
Ask-a-Ho #4
Go South, Young Man!
Ask-a-Ho #5
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MORE REACTION
First of all, I agree with sara
(see REACTION, opposite column) that
the RealDoll is kinda... icky. It seems to me to be a necrophiliac
toy... no response, no mind, nothing guiding it. The name is
ironic in the extreme.
However... I was, last time I checked, a perfectly real woman.
I am 5'7" tall, and I wear a D-cup and a size 6, and I really
have no hips or ass to speak of, and a waist which is trim but
not remarkably so.
In the past few years, there has been some sort of bizarre
psuedo-feminist "dissent in the ranks" backlash against women
who are NOT curvy size 14 and up. That we aren't "real women".
That we MUST all have eating disorders or somehow be freaks
to look like this.
I very much resent that it is now PC to make fun of the figures
of slender women in order to fluff up the self-esteem of curvier
women. It should NOT have to be that way... you are what size
you are, so long as you are taking care of yourself. If someone
is looked down upon because they are a size 16 or whatever,
why should it be OK for them to trash a size 4 in revenge?
I just don't think it is. Truthfully, historical positions
can be found to support almost *any* viewpoint regarding figures
(want slender? go for Renaissance court dictums regarding waist
measurement, and go for Victorian "tightlace" corset fetish
magazines. Want curvy? Head over to your art history books and
prehistoric goddess figurines). The *average* woman may be a
specific size (12, 14, whatever), but remember that you can
take 5 women at size 6 and 5 at size 18, and stick them in a
room, and the average size in that room will be a 12.
Discussing someone's figure from ANY negative perspective ("she's
too short/fat/tall/skinny/busty/etc"), even in a general sense,
is catty and rude. It isn't feminist, it isn't pro-female or
pro-woman, and it is simply buying into yet another false stereotype.
-elizabeth
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Nothing
breeds romance like a night in a swanky hotel, right? So why after a
relaxing wine-laden Italian dinner did we find ourselves between the
sheets watching basketball highlights and eating Krispy Kremes? Just
when I thought SportsCenter would never end, my handsome, ball-lovin'
beau (we'll call him Trent), switches over to some after hours HBO documentary-style
sex show called RealSEX. Though neither of us have HBO at home, he was
familiar with it (raise eyebrow here...), and my tinge of chagrin was
quickly beat down by my 31-year-old libido.
So, I thought, this is going to get interesting.
The last (and first for me) time we watched porno in a hotel room we
got to do it twice and one of the times was on that table they give
you just in case you actually want to set up your laptop or choose to
have your dinner delivered to you on a cart. I looked around. There
was no table, but I was sure we'd make do (the tub had caught my eye
earlier, it was big and square and high off the ground).
The screen quickly filled up with naked chicks
in the arms of men, but wait?! Porno it wasn't. The women were stiff,
and being carried around in unnatural poses and hung on clotheslines
to dry?? The show was profiling Real Doll (http://www.realdoll.com)
, the company making it big on the Internet right now that manufactures
real live (well… not live) lifesize silicone females with holes in all
the right places, bending limbs and eghads! even suction. Human hair,
styled on their heads and pasted delicately on their pubic regions,
comes in a variety of colors. For a guy, it's basically a build-your-own
girlie whose head you can shove in your crotch any time you want and
who never talks back or asks for back rubs, cunnilingus, or to please
not leave food out on the counter. Sweet, right? I say it's kinda weird.
One of the featured Real Doll customers was a
couple in their twenties, a blonde bi-curious naturegirl had purchased
one of these $5,000 luxuries as a birthday gift for her counterpart,
a guy with a soul patch who looked like he just flew in off a half-pipe.
"Cool dude," (or something like it) was what he said when he uncrated
the plasticine beauty with a crowbar. Before we could say menage a trois,
the two of them had their pliable Patty stretched out on the couch,
probing her parts and comparing them to the real thing. They got it
on of course (with nary a chuckle) and later took Patty to the hot tub,
because apparently she can withstand temperatures up to 400 degrees.
(This way you can fuck her way too close to a bonfire, or submerse her
in scalding water so she feels more like a human hot water bottle when
you take her back to the sack.)
Now, the argument RealSEX presented, that the
doll was a good way to experiment with team sex without risking disease
or hurt feelings made sense to me, but what about when it came right
down to it, when you're looking into your lovers eyes, and you realize
he has his hand on the boob of a vacant elastic vessel staring back
at you like a dead fish from a plate. Wouldn't it be pretty damn hard
not to emit an uproarious mood-killing guffaw?
The other happy customer interviewed was a writer
who mainly used his doll for visual stimulation (though completely batheable
he didn't want to sully her). And his girlfriend, with whom he is conducting
a long distance relationship, knew about synthetic Stacy and apparently
approves, if only on the grounds that her guy won't be Tom-catting around
to scratch every itch she's too far away to reach. Still, he seemed
like one of those weirdoes that talks to you in the grocery store for
way too long and probably wears open backed men's slippers around the
house. Creepy.
After a visit to the website, I learned that Real
Doll is currently developing a girl-toy model, but for me, the great
thing about sex is the human connection: the way things smell, the sounds,
how for a brief moment sex can erect a bridge as brilliant as the Brooklyn
over the
male/female gap. And I've long since accepted that
desire is different for men, but personally I'd miss being smushed into
the mattress and burying my face in real hair (okay, real hair attached
to the head of the person who originally grew it)! I tried to picture
myself feeling all hot and bothered and climbing onto my very own elastic
Enrique, but if he couldn't squeeze me back or whisper kinky things
into my ear (Real Doll probably has that feature in the works too),
I might as well be hopping up and down on the stuffed dolphin that satisfied
my very first erotic urges.
This is not to say that in all her realistic special-effect
splendor, the artists at Real Doll have not created a product to be
proud of, I'm just trying to figure out how I feel about the prospect
of a giant fuck-me Barbie or Ken.
Maybe the only real way to know is to try
it out. She's no throw-away product I know, but if the Real Doll people
want to send Smile and Act Nice a review dolly to try out, I'll be willing
to take on the experience with all the seriousness and enthusiasm of
any eager critic (just don't tell my parents) and report the results
in this column. I haven't talked it over with Trent yet, but I believe
he'd forego a night of SportsCenter to take on the challenge, and I'd
try really really hard not to bust a gut while it's happening. Just
one thing: I'm not kissing anything with a mechanical tongue, and no
blondes please, Trent prefers brunettes.
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REACTION
i initially discovered the super scary real doll through the
"chicks suck" website, and when i went to check it out, i almost
died. i had nightmares for numerous nights after. the part that
really scared me was that video segment at the beginning. it
reminded me of a trailer for a psycho killer movie. i got the
impression that the real doll patrons are all dirty men fascinated
by hard-core dominating a woman. not to mention that i got this
major complex over whether i had been providing enough "suction"
for my male partners. all the testimonials made me want to cry.
the only justice in this world is that i'm sure all those guys
who are happy with the real doll are all gross losers who i
wouldn't want to show my suction ability to anyway. -rebecca
I saw the Live Sex 22 thing on dolls too and your article cracked
me up. I was watching it with a bunch of my friends and we were
kind of caught between really amused and into it, and kind of
creeped out and disgusted. It kind of goes along with the plastic
surgery issue. These days, what is considered attractive, desirable,
is not the natural norm. Which is very disgusting and very discouraging.
Women are constantly being told (by the pervasiveness of plasticized
bodies as beautiful) that what is natural is not good enough,
is not beautiful enough. And men are being taught to expect
or be attracted to not only an unnatural aesthetic, but a fake
not to mention unhealthy and biologically backward aesthetic.
While the doll is definitely amusing, definitely an interesting
toy to have around, the aesthetic is promotes (huge tits, no
waist, hips, or ass, and a vacuous "perfect" face with big hair)
is so unnatural that it's disgusting. ! I am afraid that toys
like these with only do more to worsen the body images and self
esteem of natural otherwise beautiful women by telling them
that their beauty is not. One hundred years ago women with flesh,
curves were immortalized as the epitome. The nudes who were
considered the epitome of beauty by great painters throughout
history were REAL women. Beauty was real it was attainable,
it was NATURAL. Today, because of plastic surgery and these
type of sex toys, beauty as it is recognized and taught by society,
is becoming less and less attainable because it is no longer
natural. And I hate it. -sara
The
idea really freaks me out. But I'm not suprised. I heard somewhere
that one day there will be fully interactive robots built with
life like features so you no longer have to have contact with
any other human being. And who wants some company reinforcing
stereotypes of what a "perfect woman" should look like. Real
Doll can suck my ass. -andrea
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