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Today's Questions: Learning to orgasm More Ho in the Know: Real Doll
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It's not the sex. And from what I've read, I'm not even close to being alone on this. I know I should practice, and figure it out myself, but I'm not big on masturbating. What do you know? Dear Sorta Frigid, The first thing I know is that you are not broken. There are so many factors to orgasm and the truth of it is, most women don't orgasm regularly from intercourse. But the best way to get to the point were you're able to is to practice. Practice, practice, practice. Just like the piano, just like speaking French. And you should reconsider how you feel about masturbating because it really is the best way. You can use a vibrator or your fingers, but using a vibrator will probably enable you to come faster. Masturbating sort of teaches your body to recognize the signs of orgasm and eventually it learns to follow through without so much direct attention. I didn't masturbate until I was out of college and that was only after a friend told me EXACTLY what to do with my parts. So one afternoon I went home, drank a glass of wine, put on some moody music and started messing around down there. Nothing happened. When I reported back to my friend she asked if I was fantasizing while I did it. Duh, I wasn't. I was probably thinking about what a total boob I looked like supine and spread-eagled under my Snoopy poster (okay so I didn't really have a Snoopy poster). But next time I tried it I read a few pages of some erotica I'd purchased to help prompt my sexual awakening, and after I was aroused I gave it another whirl, this time putting myself in the story I'd just read while I touched all the right places. It took a long time -- damn long, like 45 minutes -- but it felt so good that I didn't want to stop, and boy was the payoff worth it. I had forgotten why the heck people have sex in the first place. If you really don't like masturbating then you're going to have to find a patient partner to practice with. There's a guy/girl out there who would love to make your climax his/her personal victory. Make it a challenge for them. Ok, am I supposed to swallow my guy's come, when I give him a b.j. or what? Yes you are. Especially if you love him and you want to give him a dynamite "b.j.". At least try. Have you ever done a shot of tequila (if you're under 21 then substitute cough syrup or some other vile liquid)? The key is to toss it down quick and all at once to the back of your throat so it isn't whirling around on your tastebuds. This isn't fine wine we're dealing with -- it can be nasty. I like to make sure he's as far down my throat as he can go when he comes, that way it practically skips my mouth all together. (Practice not gagging with a banana. Angle is everything. No kidding.) How do you know how to French Kiss? I know because in Junior High I spent many hours practicing under the bleachers at hockey games. Hopefully the person you are going to do the frenching with will already know how and can help you out a little, but don't count on it, there are lots of kissers out there who could use a lesson or two. There are many styles and techniques, but basically the gist is to open your mouth a little and let your tongue explore the other tongue, mouth and lips involved in the kissing equation. Don't open too wide because that can be frightening or be forceful like you are licking an ice cream cone. Try not to be too spitty because that's gross too. French kissing is great because even though it might be awkward at first it is something very basic that you and your partner can figure out together. Just relax and do what feels good. Can a man trust blondes? The answer is no. All blondes lie like rugs. Sorry. |
Hello
readers!
Yo Ho. I usually don't orgasm. Usually meaning I only have three times,
two of them not being anything to oooh and aaah over.
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