|
 Etiquette
is not universal. Nor does everything cross international borders. But
unless you're planning on serenading the bride at a Brazilian reception
or traveling to the deepest Congo to break bread with the natives, most
cordial mannerisms presented here are definitely adaptable.
So, without further formalities, let's get on with this always-educational,
never-obnoxiously snobby installment: Potluck. Also known as: Miss Priss
answers some of your fan mail.
But first, a clipping I recently stumbled across, answered
by Peggy Post:
Q: My husband and I recently attended a BYOB party.
When we were ready to leave, the bottle we'd brought was still more
than half full. Would it have been acceptable to take it home with us?
A: Yes. The idea behind the custom of bringing
your own bottle is to help the host control expenses, not to build up
his or her liquor supply. Because many people feel uncomfortable taking
home their own bottle, however, a good solution is to bring to a party
only as much as you think you'll drink.
GASP! I cite this only to illustrate the
hodgepodge of thoughts that is formal etiquette. And whatever you take
from this column, just promise me that you'll never EVER return home
with a bottle you brought for the party. Unless, of course, you want
to be known as a RUDE, MISER, LOSER.
 | Today, the last answer in your column caught my eye. It says to place your napkin next to your plate after you excuse yourself for the washroom. I was taught that the napkin never goes back up on the table once it hits your lap. I've never heard any different until now. So my question to you is, is there something more I should know? | | | |  |
How lovely. The nature of your question
alone indicates you place thought in a topic as vital to our culture
as etiquette. For that, you are a shining dining star.
The issue of napkin placement is a delicate one, to say the least.
Placing a napkin on the seat can suggest a number of rude thoughts:
That you're trying to hide an inedible food item in the cloth;
that you were nervous and ill at ease; or--my favorite--that you're
trying to make a quick getaway with the fine linen. At the end
of the meal, or during a brief restroom visit,
the napkin MUST be left alongside the plate. It should
not be folded--merely loosely placed on the table--as a neat package
signals to the host that you assume they will reuse the linen
without laundering.
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| | I read your etiquette column with interest, and you have very good guidelines and advice. However, one item caught my attention. On the subject of toasting, you present a very good process to follow to properly toast before a meal; however I have heard that it's NEVER proper to actually 'clink' glasses, that glasses should only be raised. Later in the column you allude to raising your glass and do not mention clinking--which I've always been taught was correct. Which is it? | | | | |
When all else fails, logic prevails.
At large, formal gatherings, it's not feasible to actually clink
glasses with everyone seated at the table. In a situation like
this, raising your glass and nodding toward the person you are
saluting is considered appropriate. At small, casual get-togethers,
clinking glasses is the preferred method.
Besides, the satisfying "clink"of
two half-full wine glasses making contact is one of the
more satisfying musical notes of the culinary world.
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| | My mother-in-law is cooking breakfast for my wife and me. As she's a manners freak, I'm concerned about how to eat bacon. Do I cut it with a knife and then use my fork? | | | | |
Of course not. Try that and you'll
find your crisp piece of pork fat headed in the direction of your
father-in-law's left eyeball.
Bacon, as delicious as it is, is one of the rare exceptions in
which using the hands is perfectly proper, AS LONG AS the bacon
is very crisp and fully cooked. Half-limp pieces
dangling with fat should be eaten with a knife and fork--if
you MUST eat them. I'd rather recommend leaving those for the
dog.
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