But now, through the miracle of modern technology, you don't have to tolerate berating and table-stealing to get your very own pineapple plant! No, ma'am! You can pick yourself out a nice pineapple, eat it all gone, and still have a nice plant to show for it. And right now, we're at the peak of pineapple season (March - June), so you can enjoy the fruit now and the fruits of your labor later, when you've got a swell (and free) plant.

The first step is picking out a good pineapple for planting. Of course, you want a good pineapple for eating, too, so...

Start by smelling the butt. That's right, the bottom of the pineapple will smell nice and fruity if it's ripe. Make sure the bottom's not soggy or moldy. Leaves should be crisp and green and the body of the fruit should feel springy--you should be able to push it it a little, but it should still resist.

Now that you've got a nice eating fruit, look for a good plant fruit. There are two tests. First, gently pull apart the center leaves at the top of the pineapple and make sure there's new growth. This feels a little like a produce gynecological exam, so I always feel somewhat apologetic when I make this inspection. If the tiny center leaves are missing (which indicates they've died and fallen off), loose, or brown, pick a different one--it will not grow. This picture shows good, healthy center leaves. Aren't they cute?

The second test isn't as critical, but given several equally attractive pineapples, it's a good tie-breaker. Lift up the bottom leaves, the ones closest to the fruit, and look for any little nubs or roots. You need to be a little rougher with this inspection, but for some reason it doesn't seem as intimate or invasive--it's more like a dental exam. Pull the leaves firmly apart and look for roots-to-be. These are similar to the aerial roots on the devil's ivy. Sometimes they'll be surprisingly vigorous & you'll see them right away, and sometimes they'll just be light-colored nubby swellings in between the leaves. The little nub pictured on the left is pretty typical. If you don't see anything like that, check a couple of layers higher. The picture to the right shows all the rootlets that were a little higher on this same fruit.

Tips and Facts

Now is the time to try this out. Not only are pineapples in season right now, but it's spring! Even indoor plants propagate best and have their strongest growth spurts in the spring. Take advantage of the season and the extra hours of light.

Pineapples are a traditional symbol of hospitality, so why not put your finished plants by your front door? Your guests probably won't catch on, but you'll still feel like a good host. --Or bring one as a thoughtful housewarming gift.

If the tips of your plant start to go brown, you can trim them off with scissors to tidy everything up. (You'll notice the bottom leaves are cropped in the large picture above.)

This is a slow-to-root plant, so change out the water with fresh water every week or so to keep the roots from molding or rotting.

It's doubtful one of these will ever produce a pineapple in temperate regions. However, I did see one of these plants in an outdoor planter in Costa Rica and it had a tiny pineapple growing out from a stalk in the center. If you live somewhere tropical, try planting your pineapple outside & see what happens!

There's no time like the present. You may as well cut to the chase as soon as you get home. If you leave your pineapple on the counter or in the fridge for a week, not only do you diminish your odds of eating it before it goes bad, but you risk killing off that nice healthy center you picked out so conscientiously. It's easy to prepare the plant (the whole process will take you about 2 minutes). Then you can cut up your fruit and stick it in the fridge and bask in your resourcefulness.

Step 1: Cut off the top. Nothing to it. Just cut the top of the pineapple the way you always do when you cut it up.

Step 2: Pull off the extra meat.

By the way, the pineapple to the right is actually past its prime. The leaves should be firm and straight, not all soggy and wilted. This is an example of a pineapple that was stuck in the fridge for a week. If you wait this long, it's not going to look as pretty sitting on your windowsill and it's not going to root as vigorously. So do as I say, not as I do.

Step 3: Cut off the core at the base of the leaves. If you leave it on, it'll just rot and make the water stinky. And I mean stinky.

Step 4: Pull off the bottom leaves. Pull off the bottom layers of leaves (about 1/2 inch worth) to reveal those nubbins or rootlets described above. They'll need to make contact with the water.

Step 5: Put it in a glass of water and wait. The water level shouldn't hit the remaining leaves, but the nubs/rootlets should be submerged. These can take a long time to root (say, a week or so to show any root growth and a month or so have nice roots), so keep your eye on the water level. If the water gets stinky or cloudy, replace it with fresh water.

It's ready to plant in soil when it has 2 or 3 nice, strong roots. Choose a 4 - 6" pot to start and use a professional grower's mix instead of garden soil (soil is too heavy for potted plants an becomes compacted, cutting off oxygen to the roots and promoting rot). Once you get it potted, it will really take off. The plant shown at the top of the page was potted last fall.